mijobooks Chapter 152 Kitahara Shin can do anything!
Chapter 152 Kitahara Shin can do anything!
Chapter 152 Kitahara Shin can do anything!
Akasaka, TBS Television Building.
The corridor was filled with the mixed smells of hairspray, bento boxes, and cheap coffee. As one of Japan's five major commercial broadcasters, this place produces entertainment that attracts housewives and students all over Japan every day.
Kitahara Shin pushed open the door to the lounge, which bore the nameplate "Kitahara Shinsho".
This is a single dressing room with a separate dressing table, sofa, and TV. In the hierarchical Japanese entertainment industry, having this kind of treatment means you've gone from being a "selected commodity" to a "VIP who can guarantee high viewership ratings."
I had barely sat down when there was a gentle knock on the door.
"Excuse me!"
The door was pushed open a crack, and several young girls in sequined miniskirts and with exquisite makeup filed in. They were from a newly debuted idol group and were also guests on today's variety show.
"Kitahara-senpai! I'm the captain of Morning Musume (a fictional group) — nice to meet you!"
The girls lined up and, led by their captain, bowed in unison at a ninety-degree angle, their voices so loud they sounded like they were shouting slogans.
Immediately afterwards, several comedians I'd hardly ever heard of came in to pay their respects, bowing and scraping with fawning smiles, handing over business cards and throat lozenges that had been prepared beforehand.
Kitahara Shin sat on the sofa, watching this scene, and a strong sense of déjà vu welled up in his heart.
Just a few years ago, he was an extra standing outside, clutching his business card, his palms sweaty, worried about whether his seniors would give him a hard time. Now, he's the one sitting inside, receiving homage.
"You've worked hard, let's keep going!"
He responded with a smile, without putting on any airs of a senior.
After seeing off wave after wave of visitors, the agent, Daejeon, walked in carrying a thick folder.
"President, this is today's script."
Da Tian's expression was a little strange. "Um—would you like to take a look first? The character the production team has set up for you is a bit—unique."
Kitahara Shin took the folder and opened it.
For most Japanese viewers, variety shows are synonymous with "authenticity." They enjoy watching celebrities make fools of themselves, reveal secrets, and show their private side on camera.
But for those in the industry, this was actually a meticulously calculated show.
In this industry, so-called "improvisation" only accounts for 10%, while the remaining 90% are jokes that screenwriters come up with while sitting in their offices.
The script clearly outlines what pointed questions the host will ask, how guests should react with surprise or anger, and even the exact moments when they should laugh. Deviating from the script not only leaves the host speechless but also makes post-production editing extremely difficult, a phenomenon known as a "broadcasting mishap."
Kitahara Shin quickly browsed through the section about himself.
[Character Setting: A genius but dull-witted acting fanatic]
[Specific manifestations:]
When the host asks about the rumors, appear flustered, avoid eye contact, and awkwardly change the subject with a phrase like "I'm only interested in the script." (Purpose: To create a charming contrast and a sense of abstinence.)
During the game segment, deliberately act uncoordinated, ideally knocking over the props. (Purpose: To break away from the "all-around" image and increase approachability)
When other guests make jokes, please act slow to understand the jokes and, if necessary, you can say something sarcastic like, "What's so funny about that?"
"—"
Kitahara Shinju put the script away and casually tossed it onto the coffee table.
"Is this how they see me?"
He rubbed his temples, somewhat speechless. "Dull-witted? Sharp-tongued? And pretending to be clumsy?"
These screenwriters probably watched too much "Under One Roof" and mistook him for Masaya Kashiwagi, who knew nothing but medicine.
"Um—the producer said this would create more 'variety show effect.'"
Da Tian wiped his sweat. "After all, your current image is too perfect; it creates a sense of distance for the audience. Appropriate flaws can bridge that gap."
"I don't like playing fools."
Kitahara Shin stood up, straightened his suit collar, and said calmly, "Besides, I don't have the habit of wearing a mask on variety shows. Tell them I'll follow the procedure, but what I answer and what I do are my own decisions."
Half an hour later, in the V1 studio.
The lights were dazzling, and the audience was filled with young women.
"Next up is the current ratings monster! He's not only captured the hearts of all the young girls in Japan, but he's also poised to steal the stomachs of his patients in 'The White Tower' (laughs)! Let's welcome—Shin Kitahara!!"
As the host, Sanma Akashiya (referencing the style of a well-known MC), delivered his signature raspy voice, Shin Kitahara emerged from behind the large screen.
"ah-!!!"
The screams instantly ripped the roof off.
Kitahara Shin smiled and waved, then calmly walked to the center of the guest seating area and sat down.
After the initial greetings, the program moved on to its first segment: [Rumor Debunker].
This is what is commonly known as the "sharp question" segment. Of course, the so-called sharpness is usually pre-arranged, like a rehearsed fencing performance that looks thrilling but actually has cotton wrapped around the blade.
"Speaking of which, Kitahara-kun has been quite popular with women lately."
Akashiya Sanma, holding a cue card, leaned closer with a mischievous grin: "I heard you often eat together with Nakamori Akina-san? And that Sakai Izumi-san from ZARD, seems to have a close relationship with you too? Even the recently popular newcomer Miyazawa Rie is from your company?"
According to the script, Kitahara Shin should blush at this point and stammer, "Ah—that—we're just work colleagues, we're not really that close in private—"
Then the host will take the opportunity to stir things up and create laughs.
however.
Kitahara Shin did not look at the notice board.
He sat in a swivel chair, relaxed, his eyes, which were always deep and captivating in front of the camera, looking calmly at the host.
"Yes, we do eat together quite often."
He nodded, a natural smile playing on his lips: "After all, they're all good friends. Akina is a great cook, Izumi is a good driver, and Rie has a real talent for acting."
Isn't it normal to be around outstanding people?
'
The scene fell silent for a second.
Akashiya saury was stunned.
This script is all wrong! What happened to the "awkwardness" and "helplessness" you were supposed to portray? Why did you just admit it so readily? And why did you admit it so confidently, even going so far as to praise all three of them?
"?!"
A gasp of surprise erupted from the audience, the meaning of which was unclear. There was astonishment, excitement at having their gossip satisfied, and a kind of "Wow, he's so open" admiration.
"Oh...I see..."
Akashiya Sanma, being a top-tier MC, reacted extremely quickly, immediately slapping her thigh and laughing loudly, "Oh! What a cunning answer! 'Good friend' is the perfect shield! But since Kitahara-kun has said that, it seems we won't be able to dig up any juicy gossip, what a pity!"
Although he expressed regret, the way he looked at Kitahara Shin changed.
This guy doesn't play by the rules, but he played this "frankness game" brilliantly. Rather than hiding things and arousing suspicion, it's better to be open and honest, which makes people think he's straightforward and doesn't have many dark thoughts.
The next segment is the "Super Brain Quiz".
This is an unscripted segment that purely tests the guests' knowledge and reaction speed.
The original plan of the program was for the comedians to be in charge of answering questions and making funny faces, while Kitahara Shin only needed to stand on the sidelines and look cute and clueless, like "I'm a doctor, but I don't even know this."
But Kitahara Shin clearly had no intention of playing dumb.
Question: Who was the first Japanese person to win a Nobel Prize?
"Hideki Yukawa".
Before the host could even finish reading the options, the red light had already illuminated. Kitahara Shin's voice was steady and clear.
"correct!"
Question: What is the largest bone in the human body?
"Femur." A quick reply.
Question: Located in South America, known as the "lungs of the world" —
"Amazon rainforest".
"Correct! Correct! Correct again!"
The host was almost going crazy; he couldn't even read all the question cards in his hand.
The other guests stared wide-eyed, their hands on the buzzer, but they didn't even have a chance to press it.
Kitahara Shin is like a sophisticated human encyclopedia. He has an extremely broad range of knowledge, from history and geography to medical common sense, and he can even understand some obscure anime references.
This is thanks to his experience of living two lives, as well as the extensive reading he cultivated in this life to hone his acting skills.
He reads a wide variety of books. To play a gangster, he read criminal psychology; to play a doctor, he memorized anatomical atlases; to act in period dramas, he studied history from the Edo period.
These seemingly useless "general knowledge" became his most dazzling weapon on this stage.
"Stop, stop, stop!"
Akashiya Sanma slammed her cue cards down, feigning despair as she pointed at Kitahara Shin: "Are you really here to film a variety show? Or are you here to cause trouble? Give others a chance! The comedians over there are practically crying!"
The camera cut to the bewildered celebrities on the side, and the whole audience burst into laughter.
Kitahara Shin shrugged innocently: "Sorry, it was just a conditioned reflex."
If the buzzer round showcased brainpower, then the following "God's Hand Challenge" was purely a display of skill.
"As everyone knows, Kitahara played a genius surgeon in The White Tower."
The host pointed to a long table in front of him: "So today, we're going to test your finger dexterity. The rules are simple: within one minute, use these specially made, extra-long chopsticks to transfer the slippery billiard ball from this bowl to that narrow-necked bottle."
-
"That's really difficult! Because the chopsticks are slippery, and the ball is slippery too!"
Several comedians came on stage first.
Sure enough, the scene was a complete mess. Pool balls were flying everywhere, some people tried for ages but couldn't catch a single one, and someone even used too much force and bounced a ball right into the host's face, creating a hilarious spectacle.
"Alright, next up is our genius doctor, Kitahara-kun!"
Kitahara Shin walked to the table and picked up the pair of chopsticks that were at least forty centimeters long.
He tested the feel of it.
It's a bit heavy, the center of gravity is unstable, and the tips of the chopsticks are obviously coated with oil, making them very slippery.
"Ready—Go!"
With a whistle.
Kitahara Shin's eyes changed.
A slight thought.
[Mind-Controlled Equipment: God's Left Hand - Sterile Touch (Glove) Activated]
Although I wasn't wearing it on my wrist, that familiar, electric-like sense of stability instantly filled my arms.
In his view, the rolling billiard balls seemed to have come to a standstill.
He saw the center of gravity of each ball and the optimal point of contact between the chopsticks and the ball's surface.
Start.
The chopsticks fell.
"Da, da, da, da————"
A crisp, rhythmic sound rang out, so fast it formed a continuous line.
Without the slightest pause, without a single mistake.
His hands were as steady as a high-precision industrial robotic arm. Each time he used his chopsticks, he precisely picked up a ball, and with a flick of his wrist, the ball obediently traced an arc and fell into the bottle opening.
fast.
too fast.
It was so fast that the camera could barely capture the afterimage.
In less than a minute, all thirty billiard balls in the basin were gone.
"Smack."
Kitahara Shin put down his chopsticks, deactivated his equipment, and let out a soft breath.
The entire studio was deathly silent.
The comedian who had been clowning around just moments before dropped the ball in his hand, it bounced twice, and rolled to Kitahara Shin's feet.
Akashiya saury opened its mouth wide, making its signature teeth look particularly comical.
"—Is this a lie?
A full five seconds passed before the host finally found his voice and rushed to the table to examine the bottle: "They're all...all in?! Are you a robot?!"
The large screen began playing back the slow-motion footage.
In the scene, Kitahara Shin's expression is calm and collected, his eyes focused and cold. His hands seem to possess some kind of magic, taming the mischievous balls one by one.
That professionalism, that control, it's so cool it's breathtaking.
"Aaaaaah!!!"
The audience erupted in screams ten times louder than at the start of the show.
What is a genius?
That's genius!
After recording.
Kitahara Shin had just returned to the lounge and was removing his makeup when the door was knocked on.
The people who came in this time were not newcomers, but the show's director and a senior planner from the TV station.
Their eyes were shining, looking at Kitahara Shin as if he were a gold mine.
"Kitahara-san! That was amazing!"
The planner rubbed his hands together, his voice excited: "That ball-clamping moment just now is definitely going to be one of the most memorable moments of the year! That speed and consistency are simply unbelievable!"
"You flatter me." Kitahara Shin wiped his face, his tone indifferent.
-
"Um—actually, we just discussed it backstage."
The director eagerly extended an olive branch: "Since Kitahara-san has such amazing learning and practical abilities, we would like to tailor a new variety show project for you."
"A new project?" Kitahara Shin paused.
"Yes! The tentative name is—'Kitahara Shin Can Do Anything!' (tentative title)."
The planner presented a rudimentary draft, excitedly gesturing to the name of the event: "The core of our show is challenging the impossible. Each episode, we'll seek out top experts from various fields, or folk masters with extraordinary skills. For example, a champion in trick billiards, a craftsman who can carve words on a grain of rice, or acrobats who believe their skills are unreplicable."
"Then, we'll send you to learn on-site. In a very short time, try to replicate, or even surpass, their special skills!"
"Imagine that the experts have honed their skills for decades, and you learn them in a single glance—the contrast! The exhilarating feeling of being proven wrong! Viewers would absolutely love this show!"
Kitahara Shin raised an eyebrow as he listened to their description.
Isn't this just a variant of the famous "China's Got Talent" or a famous "challenge" variety show from the previous life?
However, this idea is indeed very promising.
He currently possesses [God's Left Hand] (Precision Operation), [Midnight Ghost] (Piloting), and [Craftsman's Running Shoes].
(Physical fitness), plus you'll find all sorts of random equipment later on.
This show is practically a "gear showcase" tailor-made for him.
Moreover, this is more than just an announcement for him.
This is a huge propaganda network.
"That sounds interesting."
Kitahara Shin put down the makeup remover pad, turned around, and looked at the two people with expectant faces: "I'll take this show. However, I have one condition."
"Whatever the conditions, I'll accept them!"
"I need to have some say in the recording location and guest selection."
Kitahara Shin's fingers tapped lightly on the table, a businessman's shrewdness gleaming in his eyes: "For example, sometimes I'll bring some friends to cheer you on. Like Izumi-san from ZARD, or other newcomers in our company. After all, when it comes to challenges, someone always needs to be there to encourage you, right?"
The director and the planner exchanged a glance and nodded in ecstatic joy.
"No problem! Absolutely no problem! We'd be thrilled to have those guests here!"
For TV stations, getting a piece of the Kitahara group's popularity is a sure-fire way to make money.
For Kitahara Shin, this is not only a stage to showcase himself, but also an excellent channel to promote his company's artists.
It is entirely beneficial and without any harm.
"Then it's settled."
Kitahara Shin extended his hand, a bright smile on his face. "It's a pleasure doing business with you."
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